I know I don’t have many followers (do I have followers?) but I still want to put some things into writing. After being bored as hell and even more unmotivated because of my tragic job hunt, I opened this one vacancy mail. It was a standardized message from a job agency, urgently seeking for someone for a temporary project at the town hall of a nearby city. My first thought: lame but doable. It wouldn’t harm killing some time and a portion of my day-to-day boredom. It would be for more or less a month.
I decided to give them a call and it must have been so urgent that they immediately forwarded my details to the town hall. After an hour I got the job and could start the next day already.
I had set a mindset beforehand. ‘’OK Valerie, you are going to kill time and earn money. Eyes on the prize’’.
Well it wasn’t just me having her first day. I was happy about that so I wasn’t the only newbie. Two other, lovely at first sight, girls were there as well. After a short round of introduction we met the rest of the team. Surprised as I was, I only saw young people, maximum age 27. We all had one thing in common. We are young professionals, trying to find a job. Wow, people like me. We all got along and the time flew by and before we knew, the project ended.
It got so hectic and busy at one point that I was always completely exhausted after work and in the weekend I did all the stuff I couldn’t do during the week. Therefore the pause in my writing.
Just like that, nearly two months went by. In the meantime I applied here and there, but not so actively anymore as before. For a while I didn’t understand what was holding me back. At one point, I figured it all out. It had been a memory of February that has been hunting me in my applications.
In February, I was invited for a job interview at a consulting agency. The two men decided it was time to fire away and say anything in their mind to let me know how stupid I am, how fake they thought I am and how incapable they thought I am What was worse is that they made comments about my outer appearance. Two men, mid-forty, that found it completely necessary to make a young girl feel like a complete failure. They completely buried me 6 feet under ground and danced on my grave. That’s how I exactly felt. After this, I have been so hesitant in applying for jobs. I realized it got to me so much because they got so personal by judging my looks. How dare they?
After the temporary project finished, I needed a change of scenery. First I looked for a trip to Copenhagen, which is high on my list. Too expensive. What to do, what to do. Then I spontaneously booked a solo trip to one of my homes away from home. Paris. Yes, solo. Even the receptionist at the hotel asked me twice whether I was alone. Why alone? I was tired chasing people to join me for trips and I no longer want to miss out on trips and adventures. And if that means I need to do things by myself, fine. In the end I didn’t mind to be by myself and it tickled my inner adventurist to look for more solo travel projects. I also re-gained a bit of my confidence to start looking for jobs again. I have gained fresh perspectives on many aspects. It’s like I didn’t only turn a page. I threw away my old book and bought a new one. Paris was the boost for me in so many ways and therefore it couldn’t have come in a more appropriate time then now. My Parisian me is finally back!
I will dedicate a separate blog to Paris. It was a one of a kind experience, 4 years after having lived there.